Divorce Blindside: Your Next Steps
Posted on: 5 October 2022
There are many reasons why a couple may choose to get a divorce. In some cases, both parties in the couple are in agreement about the divorce and make the decision together. In other instances, sadly, one person is essentially blindsided by the divorce. If you are the blindsided person in a divorce situation and you are unsure about how to move forward, you may have the following questions that need answers before you can accept the divorce.
Understand the "Why"
If your spouse asks you for a divorce seemingly out of the blue, you are going to be hit with a wave of emotions. Your spouse may not have given you any indications they wanted to get a divorce. The best thing you can do is try to stay as calm as possible and focus on how to move forward. It is normal to feel sad, angry, and frustrated that you did not see this coming.
You and your spouse may want to try marriage counseling before you make any big steps toward the divorce if for no other reason than to get the answers you need. You want to know why your spouse has decided to end the marriage, and you may be able to get more adequate answers through counseling than on your own. If your spouse does not want to go through counseling, work on trying to accept the fact they want to end the marriage and try to prepare yourself for the divorce process.
Dealing With a Divorce Filing
In some cases, a spouse may file for divorce before they inform their partner of their intentions. This can be excruciating when you had no clue your spouse had intentions to end your marriage. Sadly, there is little you can do to prevent the divorce at this point unless your spouse withdraws the petition. You both can discuss the filing, but it may fall on deaf ears of a spouse who has no intentions of withdrawing.
Preparing for Divorce
After your spouse asks for a divorce and you take the time to go through those difficult emotions, your next step is to get a divorce attorney. You also need to start getting your financial affairs in order. You need to know where you stand financially to not only ensure you can support yourself but also to be familiar with everything as you begin to deal with asset division.
Another important step is to begin discussing custody arrangements if you have children. Many couples can often agree on child custody, but not always. Think about what your ideal custody situation would look like. You and your attorney will negotiate all of these terms as the divorce moves forward. Start making a list of everything you want to discuss during these negotiations, so you do not forget about anything. Be sure to review your list with your attorney to make sure you have not left anything out.
Contact a local divorce attorney, such as R. Robert Clothier, P.C., to learn more.
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